I’m going to get a little personal with this article. and give you personal feelings and thoughts on one of my co writers here at Ihaveasecondlife. This is a real experience, a real ‘Love Story’ or as I call it a “SLove Story”,
As I’m sitting here listening to those depressing songs that always make you remember everything that once happened, all the people you met, all the boys you kissed, etc., my good friend Verdict came up with an amazing idea.I know from talking to her that she’s had an experience with a second life relationship, so why not get her view on things?
Cupid :Tell me, what do you think about Internet based relationships?
Verdict : That is a difficult question for me to answer, I am in two minds about it.
Cupid : Go on…
Verdict : Well this may turn into one of my rants but having had feelings for someone in second life in the past; I have many opinions on second life relationships.
Verdict : Human emotions can sometimes go up in the air and make you feel things that aren’t necessarily real. If you spend a percentage of your time talking to someone and really getting to know them a bond forms. When I first joined Second life it was just out of curiosity. I never bothered to get to know anyone personally and quickly got bored and deleted second life from my laptop. Months later I decided to give it another try and this time I got involved with roleplay communities and quickly got to know and like some people who I was role playing with. I realised one day that I thought of these people as my friends regardless of whether or not I only spoke to them on the Internet, they were there to listen to me and give advice when I desperately needed it in my life. I had heard about second life relationships but I always found them ridiculous and idiotic…that is until I met one boy.
Cupid : And of course this boy blew your mind when you met him?
Verdict : At first I didn’t even realise that I ‘liked’ him in a romantic way. I just found myself drawn to him, wanting to IM him and more then anything wanting his opinion and approval of certain things that were happening in both my real and second life.
Cupid : and of course this “Wanting to IM him” turned into something that you could call an ‘obsession’?
Verdict : Looking back now, yes I developed an obsession. But I honestly didn’t realise I had one at the time!
Cupid : Hahaha, believe me, I know what you mean. So go on, what happened next? Even though I know this story as if it were my own.
Verdict : So as I said, I had no idea that I had developed feelings towards this avatar until one day I innocently IMed him and he sent me a message that literally made my heart beat quicker and my stomach flutter. He said ‘Aw, you know, I do have to stop myself from falling in love with you.’ After that I couldn’t get him out of my mind or off of my heart. I thought I was falling in love and that he was too.
Cupid : I’m about to cry!
Cupid : And then how did you manage to keep with the relationship?
Cupid : I mean, did you find hard the fact that you were not able to kiss him/touch him/hug him or whatever?
Verdict : I convinced myself that it was the start of a real life future. I would of saved up all of my wages and got a flight to where he lives just for one kiss. I found myself not really being involved with my real life. In my head I was thinking about him and wishing I was with him and in his real life. I accepted the fact that I could never be with him physically, but I got past it with the idea that in the near future we could meet and be together.
Cupid : And you’re talking about him in the past tense, so I guess that something happened…?
Verdict :I spent the best part of 6 months living like this. He started to go distant and back away but because he was always so nice and sweet to me I assumed he felt and thought the exact same way that I did. I forced him to marry me on second life and tried to get him to make plans to meet in real life. I would of given anything to of been with him and now I realise none of it was real.
Cupid : And is this relationship over now?
Verdict : Yes, When I realised that he had started to go distant I thought if I spent some time away from second life he would miss me and open up again. During that time I started to get more involved with my real life and get over my addiction to second life and him. When I went back it was all clear to me. I asked him to be honest with me and he was…he only ever thought he had feelings for me briefly at the start of it all.The entire time I thought I was in some kind of relationship with him I wasn’t, it was just me trying to force a fantasy.
Cupid : And do you think that if it had been a rl relationship you would’ve realized that he wasn’t feeling the same things that you were feeling?
Verdict : I cant answer that because the fact of it all is…it wasn’t a real life relationship. No matter how much you think you care for someone you speak to online, you are not really with them.
Cupid clears her throat
Cupid : And how’s your relationship with him? Some people tell me (and I know my own experience as well) that it’s easier to keep being friends with that person than being friends with your rl ex (Something quite difficult actually)
Verdict : If you paid me to, I wouldn’t say a bad word about him. He is the most amazing person I have met on second life and I will always care about him. I talk to him and share things with him that even my real life best friends don’t know. I think we are closer than ever and have an understanding and bond that couldn’t be replaced.
Cupid : Do you regret it, I mean, being in an sl relationship?
Verdict : I regret wasting 6 months of my life in a fantasy, and being so wrapped up in a game that I neglected my real life. Apart from that I have no regrets about it. As far as I am concerned I met an amazing person who will stay in my memories and hopefully be my friend along time after I eventually leave second life. He is a part of my real life and I hope he always will be.
Cupid : And the last question, my dear. What advice would you give anyone who’s or is planning to be in an sl relationship?
Verdict : Firstly, never put second life first! It is just a game and so many people waste their time and life on it. Go out into the world and live! If you feel the need to hide behind an avatar then start learning to love yourselves and accepting who you are. Someone is out their for everyone and you will not meet him/her by locking yourself in the house and playing a game. If you think you have met that person on second life do not assume that they feel the same way. If you do both generally think you could be together in real life then go for it, but be careful! Their are many freaks and weirdos on second life ( and I’ve probably written about half of them) so to be 100% sure about this person you could go on skype and video and voice chat with them! Never doubt the power of true love, it can be found in many places.
Verdict : This has been verdict and for one time only I’m leaving you to judge.
Well, After reading this honest and beautiful interview (and crying a few tears over it) I realised one thing: How dangerous this kind of relationship can be. It is a dream and just a game, not reality. It worries me that second life and relationships that can be developed through the game can become peoples reality. people start to become obsessed and addicted to a fantasy and it becomes their drug.
Just remember, it may give you temporary pleasure but it’s hard to stop.
Hope to aim an arrow your way one day,